Thursday, October 22, 2015
There is a jellyfish that lives in the deepest, most darkest parts of an ocean. Its a jellyfish that is ugly to look at. Its name is Jelly.
Jelly was a proud creature. It was proud of its very long, slender tentacles. It possessed the typical features of a jellyfish but was not as luminous and transparent-looking as its other counterparts. In fact, it had a huge, deformed dome of a head that was so dark it left deep sea divers replete with disconcert at the sight of it, yet its blackness was perfect for its dismal and bleak surroundings, for it stayed camoflagued and masked, patiently waiting for its next unfortunate victim.
On the top of its head were yet more tentacles, more like pseudopodia, that were the colour of a fiery orange red as though carrying a small pudding of the hellfire (instead of an oasis) to "compensate" for its eery blackness. Time and again, it would pump out clouds of poisonous, dark, trepid solution that would ensnarl it and everything around it, favouring its living conditions.
It loved floating about, hither and dither and more than once in a while, liked causing havoc amongst other peaceful communities of the sea. It was so ugly to look at that even the most curious of scientists had pulled up an undocumented law amongst themselves that whoever near it was never to be approached again.
It had its own distinct and malicious way of preying. It was fond of grabbing its prey through its long, black, tarry, nodular tentacles, twisting and sqeezing the life out of the poor prey and finally with one powerful twist, disintegrating the whole creature into tiny bits which floated about its predator. Jelly then made a game out of it. It tested its speed with which it shot out its tentacles in all the different, possible directions, grabbing each piece of its victim's meat and finally consuming it.
It was nature at its worst.
It was a loathsome creature indeed. Jelly dwelled and nourished itself in dark energies that swirled and pulsated and surrounded it in whorls. It liked extracting dark energies from fights between distinct communities of the sea. It also sucked these energies from above and outside of the ocean.
However, it weakend if things were too peaceful around. It even died if that peace persisted too long because it endangered its living environment.
When it died, it laid washed up on the shore within a few days of its dying. As though, the ocean itself was eager to unburdern itself with the hateful creature. Jelly laid decaying in the sandy beach. It emitted aweful hisses of teeth-grinding, decaying smell.
"Pissssssss... Pissss..." Were the sounds that rang around it.
It seemed that even in death, it did not miss the opportunity to make everything around it shriek of death and decay.
The account I have written above is of a hypothetical creature, a pure product of my imagination. It probably does not exist in the real world. And even if it did exist, it is most likely in its very dormant, very primitive form, not exactly ready to turn into a monster that it is destined to turn into.
Jelly is a slang for a vice, that all of us humans are all too familiar with: Jealousy. And I needn't say much on this subject because I have already spoken enough in the form of my account of Jelly the Jellyfish; the nature of this feeling can be likened to all of the characteristics that Jelly the Jellyfish bears. (Perhaps, here you'd like to go back and read about Jelly again?)
Generally speaking, jealousy is found in every part of our life.
I am living the life of a medical student. And I am ashamed to say that this feeling did creep in me when I sat unaware of myself in my daily routine. I recognised this hateful feeling and began working to eradicate it. I am still in the process of eliminating it through prayers coupled with a very conscious effort. Sometimes I fail terribly. Sometimes I do manage to defeat it. But one must understand that it is an ongoing battle. And the best part about the whole process is... That you grow. Very much so, at your cellular level.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
This is me right now:
I approached my books. They sat quietly in the far corner of my table. Their silence mocked me, teased me and turned my legs into jelly. The silence was turning ominous by the minute, until I could not take it anymore. It took all of my energy to turn myself away from those books, all the while feeling their "eyes" piercing through my back, prodding and then burning tiny holes as punishment for my abandoning them like that.
"I can't..." Was the only "explanation" I could manage at that point before running towards the distractions the idiotbox had to offer. I launched myself in the couch, struggled with the remote control and hastily turned on the tele. I sat there, disconcerted, switching between channels and finding it difficult to settle on a particular choice. I tried to absorb myself in all the chattering and bantering blaring from the tv, but this nutty heart felt as though it was being tugged by an invisible hook. The invisible hook tied to a thread of the purest form of gold that had shot from the books stacked on my table against the wall.
"Do you really want to run away from them...?"
I jumped. 'Who said that?' I thought. My eyes darting around. "Its your conscience, my dear (read: stupid) who else?"
I sighed and shook my head sadly. 'Not you again.
'Listen, Ms. Know-it-all! You know very well why I am doing this. I cant face all of that syllabi. How do you think I am supposed to complete that much of text in such a short period of time?!'
But my conscience was all mysterious: "Look within yourself to know the answer to that question."
And I couldn't deny it. The answer is indeed within me. If I look for it. And it wasn't like I had any other choice. Because every single day at college, someone would ask me how my exam prep was going and I'd just be like:
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